PANGANGABIT

Pangangabit or infidelity is one of the most prevalent problems that most couples face. It occurs in all stature and forms of couples – rich and poor; heterosexual and homosexual.

It has intertwining biological and psychological causes. According to one theory, infidelity is deeply embedded in our species; in the prehistoric part of the human brain. It is an instinctive drive, for the propagation and survival of the species. After millenniums of evolution, our brains have already changed and we can already overpower our instincts due to our reasoning abilities, but yet infidelity still exists.

The main cause of infidelity today is psychological. Infidelity is a form of coping mechanism for the things or attributes that one’s partner lacks, such as physical, financial, sexual, or emotional. The lacking attributes are usually compensated by being with another person who has those things. It may also be a form of satisfying one’s previous unsatisfied stage in life. For example, a boy that was deprived of familial love, affection, and attention may have the tendency to commit infidelity in the later stage of his life to satisfy his previous unsatisfied stage.

Reasons for infidelity also differs according to gender, but I strongly disagree that males are more predisposed compared to the opposite sex; it just so happened that we live in a double standard society that is why we are seeing this kind of trend. Sex and physique are usually the main reasons why men commit infidelity; it can be associated with the biological factor. Women on the other hand commit it due to emotional and financial reasons; it can also be associated with the biological factor, but more on the psychological aspect.

During the early stage of a relationship, it is unusual for infidelity to occur. The reason is because during this stage partners are still very passionate and can somehow reach each other’s satisfaction and expectation levels. Also, during this stage love, affection, and attention is still overflowing and surprises are yet to be uncovered. As time passes, over familiarization of one’s partner occurs leaving no room for exploration; relationships becomes a routine making it dull and killing the surprises; and worst partners forget their obligations towards each other.

Keeping the relationship alive and passionate, giving each other enough love and affection, and letting each other have some personal space are the simple solutions to infidelity. But as the saying goes, easier said than done.

TRUE LOVE

Everyone is seemed to be in the quest for the elusive true love and today we are constantly bombarded of scenes by the media that depicts "true love" and they are really effective. Yes, effective in confusing humanity about what true love is. The media often blurs true love by limiting it to criteria like having the "kilig" factor, exchanging of endless sweet nothings, and ending in happily ever after. As we know true love is more than those mentioned criteria. So what is really true love or how will you know that you found it?

It took me several relationships before I learned and felt what true love is. I can say that it is really not about the "kilig" factors, endless sweet nothings, nor it is necessary to be happily ever after. Most of us fail the love test by giving-up easily on our relationships due to some minor (or major) indifferences with our partner. We often conclude that s/he is not the right person for us; instead we should fill the deficiencies of our partner just like a jigsaw puzzle to create a clear and complete picture from the broken pieces. The "kilig" factor is another reason why true love fail to proliferate. I am not against it, infact I find it a plus if you can maintain the "kilig" in your relationship after 3 or more years, but "kilig" does not necessarily equate to true love. Also, it does not mean that you feel "kilig" to another person is that s/he is automatically the one that can let you have the true love experience. I can associate "kilig" more to infatuation or puppy love rather than on true love. Then there's the delusional happily ever after. Well I will tell you that fairy's and there tales do not exist in the real world. In a normal relationship arguments happens and some experts even consider it as healthy.There are still many reasons why most of us fail to experience true love and surely your eyes will sore if I will mention all. The bottom line is for us to experience true love we have to work for it. We have to be understanding and patient to our partners. We also need to know how to value ourselves and what we have. And lastly, we need to learn contentment. True love does not come in a package, it needs to be nourished.

Nothing More

I thought you were an oasis

In my vast desert of loneliness,

An oasis to quench my thirst;

My thirst for love.

But then again my senses were mistaken,

For you are just another mirage

In my vast desert of loneliness

An illusion - nothing more

PATHOPHYSIOLOGY OF A BROKEN HEART

Lucky for you if your first partner was your last, but I know that almost everyone have already experienced the "pain" of being heart broken. Yes the pain, and this article is all about it.

I am really wondering why it hurts so much when a special person abandons you. The sensation felt is something different from the physical one. The experience crushes your heart literally. It is often precipitated on situations when we are already alone since it stimulates us to remember the moments that was shared and automatically tears will shed out.

Maybe it hurts so much because of the betrayal, but for me that is not the essence that inflicts pain the most. What really hurts us are the shattered dreams, plans, and hopes that was built together. Love is like cocaine which makes us high and gives us delusions of having a wonderful future with the special person, thus thrusting our expectations about the relationship to the next level. And on the faithful break-up day those expectations nose dives and along with it are us.