Sunday, May 11, 2008

PANGANGABIT

Pangangabit or infidelity is one of the most prevalent problems that most couples face. It occurs in all stature and forms of couples – rich and poor; heterosexual and homosexual.

It has intertwining biological and psychological causes. According to one theory, infidelity is deeply embedded in our species; in the prehistoric part of the human brain. It is an instinctive drive, for the propagation and survival of the species. After millenniums of evolution, our brains have already changed and we can already overpower our instincts due to our reasoning abilities, but yet infidelity still exists.

The main cause of infidelity today is psychological. Infidelity is a form of coping mechanism for the things or attributes that one’s partner lacks, such as physical, financial, sexual, or emotional. The lacking attributes are usually compensated by being with another person who has those things. It may also be a form of satisfying one’s previous unsatisfied stage in life. For example, a boy that was deprived of familial love, affection, and attention may have the tendency to commit infidelity in the later stage of his life to satisfy his previous unsatisfied stage.

Reasons for infidelity also differs according to gender, but I strongly disagree that males are more predisposed compared to the opposite sex; it just so happened that we live in a double standard society that is why we are seeing this kind of trend. Sex and physique are usually the main reasons why men commit infidelity; it can be associated with the biological factor. Women on the other hand commit it due to emotional and financial reasons; it can also be associated with the biological factor, but more on the psychological aspect.

During the early stage of a relationship, it is unusual for infidelity to occur. The reason is because during this stage partners are still very passionate and can somehow reach each other’s satisfaction and expectation levels. Also, during this stage love, affection, and attention is still overflowing and surprises are yet to be uncovered. As time passes, over familiarization of one’s partner occurs leaving no room for exploration; relationships becomes a routine making it dull and killing the surprises; and worst partners forget their obligations towards each other.

Keeping the relationship alive and passionate, giving each other enough love and affection, and letting each other have some personal space are the simple solutions to infidelity. But as the saying goes, easier said than done.